The Pilot: 20 Things in 20 Years

Surprise! And welcome to my first post… wow. It feels so surreal to finally put the finishing touches on a long, thought-out goal. Thanks to 20 years of thinking, reflecting, and dreaming, I am able to (hopefully) gift the internet with raw relatable feelings- just a little over a week after my 20th birthday, might I add.

I started dreaming up a blog as a junior in high school during the peak of the infamous global pandemic, but even an avid writer as myself struggled to find the right words to give to the public. As a perfectionist at heart, I sought the cookie-cutter, flawlessly packaged content that only ever landed me right back to square one.

There’s the problem, but here’s the truth: Feelings are not flawless. Also, feelings are forever. The best writing does not come from the mountaintops but rather from the river of authenticity that flows in every soul. I couldn’t wait until life seemed to be perfectly together or I seemed to land a stable career that is never accompanied by any fears or struggles because that’s not the life anyone knows. I’m just a college student seeking opportunities to encourage, pray, and invest in a network of outreach worth keeping at my fingertips. I will never truly be more “put together” than any person sitting next to me. We all grow through earthly challenges together, and my goal is to create a community that indulges in life giving words while the race of life keeps on moving. The wheels never stop turning, and life gets heavy, but yours and mine are so worth holding onto and molding into stories of their own.

Thankfully, the Lord deems our stories fables, bringing us lessons and caution in even some of the smallest symbolic moments. I haven’t learned all of my lessons, but I have gathered a few. Bear with me, these are lengthy. But without further ado, here’s 20 things learned in 20 years:

1. You’re not everyone’s first pick from the tree.

Let’s jump right in. You’re not the brightest apple to everyone’s eye. Whether you want to hear this or not, we’re all probably a little dull to most people until they truly experience the sweetness we have to offer, and truth be told, us sinful humans are too stubborn to always see that side in everyone. However, if you align yourself with biblical fruitfulness, I promise there will come a field where you get to spread a taste of the lessons you’ve learned. Whether or not you’re picked first by people, you are hand-crafted and hand-picked by the Lord, and He is the only one that can boost your worthwhile growth.

2. Prayer should not be excused with an if, and, or but.

Sister, brother, whoever you are reading this, please pray. The dynamics of life shift so much when you move away from God. His biggest desire is a relationship, and those are two-way streets. You cannot do it all on your own, but He is consistently present and equipped with all of the tools to build up a leaning believer.

3. Your body is a temple, and it is meant to present your best self.

In the age of raging insecurity, it’s far too easy to hide behind your comfy clothes and sink into your comfort level 24/7. In the same sense, it’s also far too easy to overcompensate and lean into the rise of selfishness (which is directly rooted from insecurities, by the way) and show a little too much sometimes. It’s okay to wear a cute swimsuit to the beach, and it’s also okay to just throw on sweatpants to fill your car up with gas, but never forget to present your best self when given the opportunity, and do so modestly.

4. Find your depth.

We’re not all science wizzes (right-brained friends, hear me out), but we’re all gifted with some level of intellect. You have depth. Observe the world, converse with people who care, and peel back your layers to find it. Your depth can shake the world, and you want every face you meet to see every side of you.

5. Just go.

There are times when I don’t feel welcome in a room. There are times when I feel like everyone is staring at me because I might be the youngest in a meeting or the “new” friend at the dinner social. Hear me out, just go. You might hate every minute, or you might find someone in that room that feels a connection to you for the very reason you’re worrying. Whatever happens, you’re stronger for your effort.

6. Don’t ever lose your sparkle.

I’m talking about the sparkle that made your childhood dreams take flight in your peaceful sleep. You have a spark inside of you that needs to be ignited. Everyone started as ordinary as you feel, even Dolly Parton, and she clearly shines brighter than the average woman her age.

7. Grasp your grit.

The 12-page paper you have to write, the proposal you have to create, the friendship or relationship that you have to work a little harder to keep together… The Bible commands us to work heartily in everything that we do. Grit isn’t just checking the goals off of the list; grit is pouring your soul into work and tasks that mean something more than just an old dusty trophy on the shelf.

8. He’s not THAT cute.

And guess what, even if he is, you’re worth more than a sly snapchat flirt or a nonchalant sonic run. If he’s not pouring his might into him seeking you, he’s not the Godly husband you’ve prayed for. The Lord tells men to bring their wives honor, and 1 Corinthians says that love perseveres. If it’s not actively moving somewhere, he’s not working hard enough, and that’s an issue.

9. You are the average of each person you surround yourself with.

Sometimes this is a good thing, but unfortunately, a lot of times this is a horrible thing. Move away from the gossip, seek the truth and light, and place yourself in a prayerful room. If you surround yourself with fruitfulness, you’re more likely to produce the same fruit, but if you surround yourself with dark, doom, and evil, you’ll find your soul lost and lonely and your actions to reflect your inmost level. Let me clarify: this doesn’t mean you shy away from struggling friends- we are called to make disciples, and you can’t fulfill that without placing yourself in front of the hearts that need to be transformed. However, if you exude light and truth and center your conversations around Christ, then the power of God is bound to affect them. You don’t have to be best friends with them, but you have to shine your light upon them. Just make sure you keep the people who shine their light upon you close by.

10. Even if it is BeReal, it’s still fake.

I applaud the efforts of internet entrepreneurs for backing the unofficial “keep ___ casual” movement, BUT the nature of social media is toxic. That’s it, no questions asked. I don’t care if your BeReal was posted precisely within the two-minute timeframe and you’re in your pajamas, I can almost guarantee you still framed it in a way to show your sense of humor, best angle, witty caption, etc. It’s all fake- the filters we use, the captions we package, the poses that make us look 5 pounds lighter… still, just fake. Social media is the world’s biggest hack to artificial happiness. Get on Instagram and TikTok as much as you want because it’s a part of our world, but only get on if you can scroll unphased by the network of lies. I love social media, and I am so guilty of making my life look enticing and flawless, but the reality is I probably held an argument with my sister about how hot and sweaty our hike was and then proceeded to have her snap a picture at the top. That’s why I need to step away sometimes. Keep that in mind.

11. You’re not going to be remembered for your accolades and relationships.

It doesn’t matter how well-known your friends are, how hot your boyfriend is, or how many awards you won in your high school honors banquet. Nobody cares, seriously. These are all worldly concepts from the very world we’re not to conform to the patterns of. You will be remembered for the way you make people feel, however. This world is frigid and cold, and we need warmth in every corner of it. Unveil the down-to-earth version of you, and set a goal to defrost some hearts. You have the power to make people feel valued, and the smile or piece of encouragement you leave with them will stay within their soul much longer than the magazine “inspiration” that came from the rising pop star’s societal lifestyle.

12. Your education is important, but it’s not the full definition of you.

My biggest hobby in the first grade was studying for the spelling bee; that was only the beginning. I’ll say it. I love school and the rush of adrenaline it gives me when I feel like I’m clearly writing an A-paper. It may not seem to be a great problem, but it’s an idol in so many ways. It’s important to work for a well-rounded education and to pour a great deal of time and effort into your future which is to be born out of the homework, but it’s just as important to set mental boundaries between learning and the competitive trap that pushes you to place your value in your grades. You can cry over your test once or twice, but move past it and understand that it’s more important to grasp a concrete skill set that will carry you through your real-world job.

13. Taco Bell is just okay.

This one might be silly, but picture this: it’s 2 a.m. You’ve just finished studying, and you’re now trying to catch up on some form of a social life. So, what do you do? You carpool to T. Bell. Classic, right? Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good adventure, but I also know that true friends will still be there when the homework, meetings, and a good night’s rest are all finished. Also, Taco Bell is not an adventure. It’s all fun and games to be young and dumb, but you will feel so much more fulfilled if you hone in on your maturity. Laugh with friends, but be intentional in your actions and adventures. Middle of the night cheesy roll-ups are a once or twice a semester deal, and that makes them a little more adventurous.

14. “No” is a power move.

All of my fellow people pleasers listen up. Not everything or everyone deserves a “yes.” When you hear that little voice inside of you telling you that you probably shouldn't do something, chances are it’s right. Your plate can only hold so much, and it shouldn’t be weighed down by other people’s responsibilities or foolishness. You make your own decisions, and it shouldn’t matter what they say behind your back after handing them a stern “no.”

15. Coffee is a solid conversation starter.

Some of my most meaningful conversations happen over coffee. It’s almost like a sip of magic reaches the tips of our tongues, and suddenly the words flow out. We should never stop meeting people, and the perfect way to do so is to ask them to coffee and open up the table for discussion. You might learn something as powerful as the espresso.

16. Worship is not a ceremony, but rather a feeling.

I’m all for throwing your hands up, but worship is not solely for the show in the front row. Worship should continue after the heart-wrenching Church service. Worship should remain in your body while you’re lying in bed, while you’re buying groceries- all that you do, even in the mundane moments. Throw your hands up while you sing, but zero-in through your everyday life. We serve a God who deserves ALL of the glory and honor. True worship is a lifestyle.

17. Friend groups are mostly for movies.

Friend Groups mainly exist because writers need to set up a good plot line, and here’s the thing: the most skillful writer, our Lord, knows how to create a plot line for our life that connects so many different friends from so many different places. I’m a firm believer in having different friends that feed into different areas of your life. Not all of your friends have to mesh with each other, but if they fill a void in encouraging relationships, then they are a true friend to YOU. Sure, keep your small circle near, but don't worry about taking a giant group of people to eat for the sole sense of their presence- that rush of joy is only artificial.

18. Self-care culture is creating a self-obsessed culture.

“You deserve it” is a lie. None of us really deserve 4 and a half hours experimenting with bath salts, vanilla candles, charcoal face masks, and the most expensive hot tea from Amazon. Sure, it’s fun every now and then, but self-care is getting slightly obsessive. It’s more important to invest your time in rest, reading your Bible, and prayer. That’s how you actually take care of yourself and others.

19. What flows in flows out too.

The music we listen to, the movies we watch, the things we read all play a role in defining our moral compass. Whether you want to believe it or not, that new song that drops the f-bomb three times is desensitizing us to the sinful nature of today’s language. When we consistently fill our brains with this sort of filth, we produce a stumbling block for the non-believers watching our every move. In turn, it’s one of those major issues that gives Christians a bad rep.

20. Honesty is better than putting on your happy face.

I saved this for last because it’s the most recent lesson. Smiling truly does have the power to change the trajectory of your day, but sometimes you just need to actively feel your feelings, and those aren’t always happy. As terrifying as it is (even more terrifying than that peer-pressure rollercoaster from the middle school class trip), you have to be honest with yourself. Smile to strangers, but open up to people you can trust and most importantly to yourself. Don’t let your “happy face” be your default in times when you need to stay grounded. Life has a serious side too, and you can’t ignore that… I’m working on finding this sweet spot in my deepest depths. It’s taking courage, but it’s so worthwhile.

To wrap up, let me say I’m immensely grateful for the amount of guidance, wisdom, and strength my Shepherd provides me with when I choose to follow and live according to Him. I’m still a learning, messy, working sinner, but through Christ I can continue to add to this list. Here’s to growth, and here’s to fulfilling His will through my words. Welcome to it!